This will be the document you print out and provide to each person involved during the conflict resolution. Please delete this callout before printing everything below.

I’ve done my best to mark anything that requires your attention in RED, so look out for those messages and fill it in with the appropriate information.

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X / Y conflict resolution - xx/xx/20xx

The purpose of our gathering is for the both of you to air out any differences, rediscover what you actually like about each other, and establish a path forward with zero grudge-holding and mutual respect.

Your Instructions

When your co-founder shares with you their pleasant emotions, please express your gratitude by saying thank you. Keep it genuine and sincere.
When your co-founder shares with you their unpleasant emotions, try not to get triggered or react defensively. Should you feel defensive, see if you can respond with curiosity. Remember, the steelman is there for a reason: for you to realize the other side has tried putting themselves in your shoes, and they are not being hostile. Their honesty should be a breath of fresh air for you, because it means they believe you are worth hearing the honest take - even if they don’t stand to benefit from sharing their unfiltered views.
When making your co-founder feel heard, repeat back to them what you think they meant. Please exaggerate as much as you can.

Try using your own name in the recap - for example, if someone said, “Regina, I really dislike it when you cut me off as I’m talking,” I would make them feel heard by saying, “Got it - I think what I’m hearing is… Regina, you fucking bitch, you are so rude and self-absorbed! You never listen and just love hearing yourself talk. Can you let me finish my goddamn sentence??” If I say this, this person will understand I have truly listened.

Order of Sharing

In conflict resolution, CEOs (or the person with the most power) always go last in sharing their side. This is because on a company org chart, everyone usually reports to the CEO, so the CEO is perceived as having the most power. If the CEO goes first, it inherently puts the rest of the leadership team in a disadvantageous position, since he or she may feel like he or she is expected to say yes to all of the CEO’s requests, or otherwise be seen as a difficult teammate.

By having the CEO go last, this gives the CEO the opportunity to demonstrate the ability to receive feedback graciously, listen deeply to his or her leadership team, and restore any trust that has been fractured in the process. As everyone is sharing their pleasant and unpleasant emotions, the CEO’s job will be to make sure his or her teammates feel 100% heard and understood. Only once that’s true, will they then collaborate to find ways to address the concerns.

By doing it this way, the CEO will then be able to give their feedback in a way where the leadership team will be ready and willing to listen - trust is actively being restored.

PASTE BELOW ALL OF THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE GATHERED.

X (person with less power) for Y (person with more power)

Part One: Pleasant Emotions

PASTE IN THEIR WORKSHEET RESULTS HERE. ONCE THIS IS DONE, PLEASE PRINT OUT THE NEXT PART ON A SEPARATE PAGE. THIS WAY, THEY CAN SEE ONLY THE PLEASANT EMOTIONS FIRST.

Part Two: Unpleasant Emotions

ADD A PAGE BREAK BETWEEN PARTS ONE AND TWO. PASTE IN THEIR WORKSHEET RESULTS HERE. THEN, PAGE BREAK FOR THE NEXT PERSON.