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Hello, these are the instructions on how to fill out the Teammates Worksheet your Facilitator has created for you. You will fill out the worksheet ahead of time and turn it in to your Facilitator.
One of the aims in our conflict resolution work together is for each of you to walk away feeling fully listened to and understood by the other party/parties. You cannot resolve conflict or move forward on next steps if either party doesn’t feel fully understood. This is where this work will come in handy.
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We always start with feelings of joy, excitement, and respect. This is because if we’re sitting here in this session, it means all parties involved still see a path forward to working together, and all parties are invested in putting differences aside and finding an amicable resolution to all conflicts. Therefore, you will have something positive to share about one another.
Please use the following format to share your thoughts.
I suggest having at least three examples of things that bring you pleasant feelings when thinking about this other person.
Remember, all parties at some point were probably triggered, and this step is to help the other person remember you are not the bogeyman — you are reasonable, no longer triggered, and respect the other person(s).
Once we go over Part One together, everyone will hopefully remember that we are approaching this conflict resolution from a place of sincerity and positive intent. Now, we will move into Part Two: feeling unpleasant emotions.
Notice we use the term “unpleasant” rather than “negative.” This is because there are no negative or positive emotions; all emotions just are. Rather, there are some emotions that are more pleasant to feel, and some that aren’t.
Please use the following format to share your thoughts.
You may write as many of these as you’d like - please use this time to air all of your grievances and “put it all on the table.”
Story: Share what happened from your perspective here. Please say exactly what went through your mind.
Use the phrase “The story I told myself is.” This is because your brain did tell you a story, and you heard this story from a lens of whatever you were feeling (anger, frustration, sadness, defensiveness.) It’s a story; nothing more.
Feeling: Share what unpleasant emotion the story made you feel in that moment.
Steelman: Once you imagine what happened, share what you think actually happened without your emotional bias. Remember, our fears tend to exaggerate others’ actions and add malicious intent behind any words or behaviors. Your job here is to remove the emotional bias.
Request: Keeping in mind your steelman argument, you may now make a request/requests on what you wish would happen in the future.
Please note that when you make your request, the other person may choose to not accept your request and this is a valid response. The point of making the request is for the other party to make sure you feel entirely understood, so you can trust that this person has made his or her decision with complete information.